domingo, 30 de enero de 2011

Calvin’s Cave


Calvin stood alone in the cave. It was dark and it was damp and he hated it. He hated being there. It was probably the place he hated most in the world. This is where she’d died.

The love of his life had passed away in that cave only months before. Every single person who would talk to him about the matter would tell him how it was an accident. These things happen to cave climbers, why should she be any different? She tripped. She fell. End of story. But he knew that wasn’t the case. She wasn’t just a “cave climber”. She wasn’t just one of them. She was the best. She was the absolute best. The love of his life. And nothing would stop him from finding whoever was behind her death. Over and over Calvin heard that it didn’t make sense that she was murdered. Why would she be? She had no enemies. She had no money. No motive. And besides, she’d been alone when it had happened. But that’s the part that didn’t make sense: why would she be alone? She always went out with a spotter. It was just common sense. A sudden onrush of adrenaline that didn’t let her think clearly? Preposterous.

Two years before, in a small village outside of Tuscany, they’d met. She was of Punjabi heritage and he’d been stunned by her from the first. It was her hair. That long, beautiful hair that he knew had to be incredibly cumbersome for climbing anything, let alone caves. Calvin himself knew nothing of extreme sports.

Calvin had been working with a programming company designing new security ports for Wifi networks. He was to go to a conference in Rome, but had always wanted to see Italy and asked for a ticket a week early to see the sites. The company agreed and three days after arriving at Fiumicino airport, he found himself lazily playing on his computer at an outdoor café. A few tables over was a beautiful lonely girl on her laptop. A Macintosh. Calvin wanted very much to go over and talk to her, but he’d always been shy and had no idea how to start the conversation. He decided to see if he could hack her computer, not realizing that it was probably the creepiest way to approach her possible. Imagine Calvin’s surprise when she hacked him back, and then some. In the middle of Calvin panicking (he couldn’t turn the damn thing on anymore) she came over and smiled. She simply said: “I win”, and walked away. He followed her with a gaping gaze as she walked and suddenly his computer turned on and began playing “Chica Cherry Cola”. Later, when he asked her why that specific song, she simply replied that she wanted him to know what to ask for when he ordered her a drink.

Back in the cave now, he thought of those beautiful first few days. She wouldn’t give up her name and it was only until he was able to hack into her computer again that he found out. They played the game of hacking each other back and forth until they got bored of it and decided to just tour around. Rajveer, he thought to himself and sighed. He’d never heard that name before in his life, but soon it would take over his every thought and action. Walking almost to the point where she’d fallen (an accident!) he remembered fondly holding her hand and whispering that he loved her. She hated when he repeated her name over and over again. He always insisted that he didn’t care that it was unisex. She would try to shrug it off, but Calvin had always been persistent with her. Sometimes he even thought he hadn’t so much romanced her into marriage but had worn her down.

How had he just let her come here alone! He’d always valued her independence, even loved her for it. Yes, she’d been a cave climber long before meeting him. Why, why hadn’t he just been here, too? If someone had to fall, why couldn’t they have fallen together? Calvin stood on the exact spot where she had fallen and after the overwhelming sadness washed over him he fell silly. He felt stupid. Incredibly stupid. What the hell did he know about climbing? How could he tell if there was foul play? There wasn’t even blood. There wasn’t anything. How could he even be sure that it was this very spot? None of it made sense. What was he doing? He was no detective. He’d asked and asked. There were even witnesses who’d seen her go in alone. None of it made sense. None of it was warranted.

I killed her, he thought. He’d let her go. He…he just couldn’t live without her. Suddenly he felt ashamed. He hadn’t even brought her flowers. He’d thought he’d come in here like a detective and he’d find her, he’d discover they were liars, that they were wrong, that she was right there. How can’t you see that my wife’s right there?! Negligent park rangers. Everyone, nobody, nothing…it just, it just doesn’t make sense. Furiously, Calvin began punching into the walls of the cave until his hand became bloody. He crumbled unto himself and cried until he fell asleep.

When he woke up his lamp had died out. He tried to feel his way around and as he did he kicked the lamp into the abyss. He was alone. Alone and deep inside an unforgiving cave. It just wasn’t going to be possible to walk back now. He tried standing and he felt himself lose his grip on the ground. He just wasn’t going to move.

For days he just laid there. He’d brought some water with him, but the lack of food and the cold was slowly killing him. The death in the cave would probably be faster than the death outside, either way, ever since she’d left, he’d felt like he was slowly withering away.

After almost a week, he heard a faint whistling and for a moment couldn’t tell if it was a hallucination or a dream. The song was Chica Cherry Cola, and in his hunger-crazed mind Calvin thought it was his Rajveer coming to take him to heaven with her.

Turns out it was just a climber who happened to be passing by. Calvin cried out and the man took him on his shoulders. Rajveer, while sweet and loving, was a reckless woman. One day he’d see that. She’d fallen. He had not.

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